As-is

One of the best things I get to do in my counseling job is co-lead therapy groups. I like the interaction between group members and witnessing how they are all growing together.

This week, a group member voiced struggling with the concept of being a whole person. That struck a chord within me and got me thinking about wholeness.

If you’ve seen the movie Jerry McGuire, you’ve heard the awful quote, “You complete me.” Chances are that if you’ve heard the quote, you have heard the equally bad response of, “You shouldn’t need someone else to complete you.”

My group member’s struggle with wholeness found me wondering how many of us will never really be whole? But what if not being whole was okay? What if being enough was, well, enough?

Many years ago, I spent nine months as a (terrible) car salesperson in Arizona. I learned that used cars that are out of their warranty come with a sticker that says As-Is. It’s a warning of sorts to the buyer, but also coverage for the dealer absolving them of any problems you may have with the car.

But here’s the thing about the as-is car: someone is going to come along and want or need that car. It’s going to get a chance to serve its purpose. Sure, it may need maintenance from time to time, and it may get costly. But it will still be worth it.

None of us are perfect. I suspect most of us could use an as-is sticker. But not being brand new or whole or complete doesn’t make us any less valuable. We all still have a role to play in life, incomplete as we are. And we are all still worthy of love.